By Ken Smitherman, President ACSI (retired 2009)
Throughout history some of the greatest stories have been written about friendships—those relationships that are not only life impacting but sometimes life giving. Of course, the greatest story of friendship comes in the words of Jesus Himself in John 15:12–14: “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.” We know that in the ultimate act of friendship Jesus did offer the ultimate sacrifice—His life—so that through Him we might have eternal life.
Although most friendships do not require such ultimate giving as what Jesus gave for us, true friendships include giving help and support. Between friends these are never given grudgingly but rather with a joyful spirit. Such benefits are a wonderful gift of this marvelous relationship that we call friendship.
I was given a powerful reminder of the role of friendship while recently reading a new biography of William Wilberforce, Hero for Humanity by Kevin Belmonte (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2002). Wilberforce is most renowned for his more-than-twenty-year effort in the English Parliament in the late 1700s and early 1800s resulting in the abolishment of slavery in England. By 1796 Wilberforce, a committed Christ-follower, had begun to question his role of being engaged politically in his country.
He had a very dear friend, renowned hymn writer John Newton. In 1796 he wrote to Newton expressing his willingness to step down from public life. Their friendship was such that had Newton concurred with Wilberforce’s intent to retire from Parliament he would have immediately stepped down. Instead, Wilberforce’s friend urged him to stay the course. As a true friend Newton encouraged Wilberforce by reminding him of the following: “You are not only a representative for Yorkshire, you have the far greater honour of being a representative for the Lord, in a place where many know Him not, and an opportunity of showing them what are the genuine fruits of that religion which you are known to profess.” He further reminded Wilberforce that one of the great comforts in life is to “have a well-grounded persuasion that we are where, all things considered, we ought to be.”
The impact of this letter from a dear friend struck a chord in Wilberforce’s heart, one that stabilized and encouraged him to hold firm and remain steadfast in his challenging role as a Parliamentarian. Wilberforce did not resign, and he continued his difficult battle against slavery. As a result he experienced the great joy of being honored by the House of Commons in the wee hours of the morning of February 24, 1807, as they rose to their feet in a cheer for his great leadership in the cause to abolish slavery. Immediately following their tribute to Wilberforce, they voted overwhelmingly—283 to 16—to abolish slavery.
Over the years I have heard many accolades about the benefits of Christian schooling. But in conversation after conversation with parents and former students of Christian schools, I hear repeatedly the stories of powerful friendships that began in the Christian school—elementary or high school—and have flourished and deepened in adulthood. Such relationships are cherished and relished with great joy.
Certainly, friendships develop from a myriad of places and situations, and obviously friendships developed in any school have an opportunity to grow because of the great amount of time students spend together in their school years. Yet when this element is combined with the nurturing received in a school that focuses on spiritual formation, a richer dimension is added to those “school-day friendships.”
I take this opportunity once again to commend you for choosing Christian schooling for your child(ren). Not only are you giving them the opportunity for intellectual development integrated with spiritual formation, but you are also providing the opportunity for friendships of a lifetime—friendships that may even impact history.
“My best friend is the one who brings about the best in me.” —Henry Ford
The Gift of Friendship 34.9